Allen Nelson Unruh

Unruh family suffers death of son, father on same day

Chris Strunk nknews@thekansan.com

Newton Kansan

It's a simple matter of faith that is helping the Unruh family in their grief.

Just hours after 45-year-old Ken Unruh died from an apparent seizure in his North Newton apartment, his 73-year-old father, Allen Unruh, who found Ken's body Friday afternoon, died from heart complications at Newton Medical Center.

"The Lord says he's not going to give us more than we could bear," said Doug Unruh, Ken's older brother. "Dad had all he could bear. His love for his family was the most important thing in his life. His body, right now, could not stand the thought of losing his son."

Doug said his father and brother were two men searching all of their lives for ways to connect with each other. Ken, the carpenter, and Allen, a lifetime farmer, found closeness in death, Doug said.

"We have to hope, in our faith, that Dad's on the road to heaven with his son," he said. "As a father and son, they struggled. Each one wanted a closer relationship with each other. ... Both of them would tell me how much they wanted to be closer to each other. That closeness they strived for all their lives, they found in death. That's helping us deal with this, that double loss we had in just two hours."

Allen also was survived by his wife, Esther Unruh; and three daughters, Yvonne D. Coulter, Charlotte K. Kreider and Suone D. Graber. Ken was survived by two children.

The sequence of events that led to the family's loss Saturday began 11 years ago, Doug Unruh said.

While working for a cabinetry company, Ken fell and suffered a severe head injury.

"A piece of Ken died that day," Doug said. "After his head injury, Ken was a different man. But we learned to accept the new guy. He grew on."

An "artist with wood," Ken wouldn't let anything keep him away from the profession he loved, Doug said.

For three years, he worked for a local contractor.

"Ken grew and almost became what he once had been," Doug said.

But the head injury caused frequent seizures. While working, he fell again, suffering even more extreme head injuries.

"After that, he was on Social Security," Doug said. "He wasn't able to work again. The last couple weeks, he was having seizures at night. ... My parents checked on him daily. On Saturday, they couldn't get him to answer the phone. By 3:30 in the afternoon, Dad was determined to get into his home."

There, Allen Unruh found the body of his son.

"For an hour, my Dad had been a rock about this," Doug Unruh said. "He told my brother-in-law and other family members. At 4:30, he sat down and he felt faint."

Allen had suffered a heart attack 12 years ago.

"He and Mom sat at the table for an hour or two, talking about Ken's funeral," Doug said. "When he started feeling faint, they immediately called 9-1-1."

Allen was taken from his North Newton home to Newton Medical Center, slipping in and out of consciousness.

After 20 minutes of pain, Doug said, his father died.

"Each one of us had helped the other in struggles through life," said Doug, who farms near Walton. "My Dad and I were, I suppose, as close as a dad and a son could be. He was not only family, he was my partner on the farm. We worked together, side by side, all my life. In the last five years, with his health, he came out here to watch me, advise me at times, to worry about me. That was his way of farming after he couldn't do it anymore. If I succeeded in something, he reveled in it. If I failed, he'd pick me up."

The Unruh family will have memories of Ken everywhere they go. To express his feelings for his family, Ken would build wooden items to give as presents.

"He loved carpentry and working with wood," Doug said. "Some of the things Ken made with wood, we'll cherish all our lives. ... When he did it, it was craftsmanship; it was artistry. He did it with lots of emotions. It was like he was painting a picture when he would build a piece of furniture. Those were some of the most touching moments for us. He had great abilities with that. ... Very seldom did he buy a Christmas present for my Mom. He'd make her something. ... He had nothing to give, but he really gave something from within by building things."

Allen Unruh, a faithful morning regular at Druber's Donut Shop in Newton and Whistlestop Cafe in Walton, and his son, Ken, are now on "a path together," Doug said.

"God had a plan," he said. "I have to believe that we have eternal life if we live the right life. I have to believe that Ken and Dad are there together."