Pamela "Pam" Denno
1949 - 2020
Pamela "Pam" Denno 71, was
born, February 17, 1949 in Newton, Kansas to Albert Miller &
Elizabeth (Shultz) Miller.
Pam attended St. Mary's Catholic School
and graduated from Newton High School in 1967. She loved to dance and
spend time with her friends.
Pam and Keith have lived in Newton most
of their married lives. Pam was a mother, softball coach, housewife,
and waitress at Chong's Restaurant for 13 years. She was always
involved in the lives of her daughters. She found joy coaching
softball with her friend, Lupe Llamas. Their team became the one to
beat for several years. Pam would drive around from house to house to
pick up girls that she coached and they all loaded into the back of
the truck for early morning practice at Centennial Park. After
practice, many times she would take the girls to Chong's for lunch.
As her daughters played sports she was their biggest fan in the
stands. She was loved by many of their friends growing up and to this
day many people know her as "Mom Denno".
As Pam raised her daughters – they
realized she was a "hard ass" –she had rules and if you
disobeyed you knew you would have consequences – from standing in
the corners of the house for an hour, to being grounded for a week,
to not going out with friends, and many more.
She loved music and when you would come
over many times she had her stereo blaring to whatever tunes she was
in the mood for.
As her daughters started dating people
– one thing she was known for was to always have fun and also be
intimidating to those that were in her home. Many young men would
know that she used to throw food at meals at her house and it became
such a joke that even the grandchildren have experienced her
orneriness. She wasn't even embarrassed when doing this at a public
restaurant.
Her health began to change in late 1990
when she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia.
She became physically disabled in 1993 due to these debilitating
diseases. For many years she was able to remain active, but at the
same time experienced pain she tried to hide from everyone.
Her first grandson, Brian, was born in
2000 and she was able to provide care to him daily when Amy went back
to work. She became his constant support. She and Brian had a bond
like no other – she took him to Storytime at the library weekly and
frequent lunches at McDonalds. Brian is the only grandchild to
remember when she was able to walk.
Pam was able to be with her daughters
as her grandchildren were born. Mom stood by and supported Melanie
when she lost her daughter, Maddie.
The grandchildren remember coming to
grandmas and spending time together hanging out in the basement,
playing basketball or with the pretend guns. They recall their
favorite snacks being her Rice Krispy treats with sprinkles or Graham
Crackers with pink frosting.
Pam loved each of her grandchildren and
you would see her attending their events, whether it was Brian
singing in Railaires, Gehrig playing in the orchestra, Hallie &
Gehrig playing basketball or Brian and Anthony playing hockey. She
was there and proud of everything they were doing.
As time passed, she continued to need
more assistance, it became more difficult for her to attend
activities. Keith would help her get up in the morning while he was
still working full time. When he would come home from work – they
would typically go out to eat evening meals – they made many
friends over the years at area restaurants. She loved frequenting
Casa Fiesta and the staff there became a part of her family. Keith
was her caregiver as well as her husband. He provided the most
compassionate and supportive care to her.
The time came when she was falling more
at home and she needed to have more assistance than Keith could
provide. They decided she would move into Schowalter Villa in
Hesston. Mom was younger than the majority of the residents and this
made her transition there somewhat challenging. She found herself
drawn to the staff – she listened to them and shared with them her
stories about life as they did with her. The connection she made with
staff from every department was undeniably what made her experience
at Schowalter Villa meaningful. Over time she realized that she could
be helpful to the residents that resided there. She would wrap
silverware for every meal – something she had done for years
working at Chong's. She helped hand out the menus and assure that the
residents had what they needed.
She found her comfortable place at the
"men's table". She sat with 5 different gentlemen. They
became her family. She spent time helping them all complete their
menus, she knew what they would and wouldn't want to eat. She even
became a referee at times when things got out of hand. Overall, she
was realizing that the place she lived may have changed, but she
found a much larger purpose in helping others. She felt such
friendship with all of the staff and truly cared about what was
happening in their lives. I think her family size grew exponentially.
To know she was truly happy is what made all the difference. She had
made lifelong friendships with both staff and residents. She was
really living her best life.
When COVID-19 came on the scene, she
never thought how long this would draw out. She was used to seeing
Keith twice a day. As time went on she became more depressed. It was
difficult for her to not be with Keith. She began losing weight and
not eating much. Then she experienced a horrible fall that resulted
in cognitive and physical changes that could not be reversed. As
months past, she became more difficult to understand – she tried to
communicate the best she could and we all learned to adapt.
Eventually God decided she was needed
much more in heaven than here on earth. On July 17th a little after
8pm she was called to her heavenly home – much sooner than any of
us would have wanted, but we know that she is pain free and walking
with all of the angels.
Survivors include: husband, Keith;
daughters Amy (Michael) Wedel, Melanie Babbitt; niece Kim (Jay)Hardy;
grandchildren: Brian Wedel, Anthony Wedel, Hallie Watkins, and Gehrig
Watkins. Brothers Bill (Debbie) Miller and Michael (Dianna) Miller;
Sisters: Pam Waltner and Paula (John) Flaming;
She was preceded in death by: son,
Brian Denno; granddaughter, Maddie Watkins; her parents; brother,
John Miller and brother-in-law Gordon Waltner.
A graveside committal service will be
10:00 a.m. Friday July 24 2020 at Greenwood Cemetery Newton, Kansas
with Pastor Hope Flask officiating. Mask and Social Distancing are
kindly asked of friends and family.
The family has requested that in lieu
of flowers memorials be sent to Schowalter Villa in care of
Petersen's Funeral Home to help establish an Employee Appreciation
Fund that will be a way to leave a legacy to the many staff that mom
loved.
